calletiquette

We enjoy talking with many of you but we ask that you please
Read This Before You Call:

Before calling or emailing us to complain because anything on this list offends you. Keep in mind it is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Besides those who get offended and angry by anything on this page, you may be a little too unstable to work in this industry. 
That said this list may serve as a good litmus test for ya! lol...

Some of this may sound ridiculous but the struggle is real.

  1. Gather your thoughts before you call so you know what you are going to say.

  2. Lower the radio, stereo, or whatever it is these days that produce loud background noise that makes it impossible for us to hear when you call.

  3. Finish the argument with your mom, parents, wife, inlaw, son or whomever it is that you have a disagreement with prior to calling.(You have no idea)

  4. Make certain you have a good cell connection. This is paramount! We don't want to play, "can you hear me now".

  5. Make our call your current priority, don't call and ask to put us on hold, we will hang up and you can call back when you're ready.

  6. Don't call us from your car speakerphone with the windows rolled down, once again if we can't hear each other, what's the point.

  7. Don't call us because you're bored and have nothing else to do or no one else to talk to, this is a business.

  8. Don't call when you've been drinking or drugging. 

  9. If you just burned a doobie or just hit the meth pipe or any psychotropics, get clean first then call us. Time is not in slow motion for us. (We do realize substance abuse is a real issue but take it easy and try not to get triggered by anything on this list. Although the issues are real, it is meant to be tongue in cheek.)

  10. If you just downed some dilaudid's, see #8.

  11. If you are calling to ask for a custom schedule you don't see on our calendar page, don't. We don't make custom schedules, choose from the ones we have and we'll give you 6 months to complete those requirements. Try to make your education with us a priority instead of a spare time experiment that we have to accommodate. This will only lead to your failure in the long run. Treat as if you were taking a college course, would it help if we charged more, so it can be taken seriously? 

  12. If you cannot find it on our website, 99.9% of the time we don't have it, and no we don't know where you can get it; try Google. We currently only offer real estate licensing classes.

  13. Although we welcome people from all backgrounds, languages, etc,
    Please do not call us if you are unable to communicate in the slightest in English, or at least well enough to carry on a conversation.

    We do not speak every language so don't expect us to. Our administrative staff only speaks English although we have instructors that speak other languages, however, classes will not be taught in any other language. I am unaware of any school that does.

    The school and state exams are only available in English, the most common language in the United States and most of the world.

    If you don't speak English well enough to carry on a conversation send us an email and we'll do our best to answer your questions.

    We find this to be best although not sure how you'll understand the class or state exams as they're only available in English.

  14. If you cannot communicate your thoughts in a logical, orderly, conscious, and semi-intelligent manner perhaps you would be better served by calling our competitors and be sure to tell them we referred you. (If you ever answered some of our calls you'd understand some of the wacky stuff we deal with.)

  15. To our friends calling from California or other Country's, contrary to popular belief (in California), the world does not revolve around California. On the contrary, at least here in New Jersey it revolves around eastern standard times so please adjust the time of your calls to coincide with Eastern Standard Time Zone when we actually work. We do not work at midnight nor when you get home from the club at 5am. (you can't imagine!)

  16. Try to use your God-given brains, have some respect and consideration for us and yourself when calling.

If anything above sounds ridiculous to you, then come spend a week answering our phones! You'll have a revelation and fully understand the term, "dumbing down of America".

Our phones get forwarded after hours but please once again see #15.
 
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